The counselor, Dr. Miriam Hale, was a woman in her sixties with silver hair and an unnerving ability to remain silent until someone answered the question they were avoiding.
During the third session she asked Emily, “What would forgiveness look like to you?”
Emily thought for a long time.
“I used to think it meant not being angry anymore.”
“And now?”
“I think I can forgive him and still remember.”
Mark stared at the floor.
Miriam turned toward him.
“What would forgiveness mean to you?”
Mark’s answer came more quickly.
“Relief.”
Emily stiffened.
Mark noticed.
He continued.
“That’s the problem.”
Miriam waited.
“I keep wanting Emily’s forgiveness because I want relief from feeling ashamed.”
He looked at his wife.
“That makes forgiveness about me again.”
Emily’s expression changed.
Miriam nodded.
“So what do you need instead?”
Mark exhaled.
“To live with the fact that I did it.”
