My mother-in-law kept showing up with her whole family for free BBQ at our house — when they came empty-handed again on the 4th, I served them a lesson instead.

And she said, at the top of the lane, looking at nothing: “I have never once thanked your father and I did not know his name until last night.”

Then she said, “That’s not an excuse. That’s just a fact about me.”

Which, from Solange Halloran, is roughly the equivalent of anybody else lying down in the road.

Monday. Ailish came at nine and I paid her and Solange tried to pay her and Ailish, who is very sensible, took the money from me because I’d booked her.

The marquee went at eleven. They all left at about one.

Dermot put his glass down and did not pick it up again.

And Solange Halloran looked at me down the length of her own table.

And I said — and this is the only sentence I had planned in six weeks, and I had it word perfect, and I said it in a completely normal voice:

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