our wedding to tell me?”
“Because I’m a coward about uncomfortable truths.”
I raised an eyebrow.
He smiled sadly.
“Apparently, some things take longer to grow out of.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“I thought if I told you, you’d question everything.”
“I am questioning everything.”
“I know.”
“And hiding it protected you, not me.”
“I know that now.”
I slid the ring toward him.
His face fell.
“You’d question everything.”
“Keep it for now.”
Ben looked up.
“I’m not ending this.”
Hope flickered across his face.
“But we’re not pretending it didn’t happen. If we stay married, it can’t be because of guilt. And I’m not proof that you’re a better person now.”
“I know.”
“Keep it for now.”
“You don’t owe my mom anything.”
Ben nodded.
“And I don’t owe you forgiveness because you finally told the truth.”
I leaned back.
Ben glanced at the ring.
“So now what?”
Counseling?”
I leaned back.
***
We skipped our honeymoon, and for three months, we attended counseling instead.
Less romantic, much more useful.
Ben stopped trying to repay my mother.
***
Six months later, we finally took our trip.
Before we left, Ben handed me my wedding ring and smiled.
I smiled and put the ring back on.
We skipped our honeymoon.
Ben had re-entered my life because of guilt.
But guilt hadn’t made him respect my boundaries.
It hadn’t made him sit through months of hard conversations.
And it wasn’t why I stayed.
It hadn’t made him sit.
I married the boy who once made me feel I wasn’t worth choosing.
The man I stayed married to had to learn that love couldn’t be repayment.
And I had to learn that a bad beginning didn’t automatically decide the ending.
Ben found me because of a debt.
We stayed together because we stoppedkeeping score.
