He pointed toward the sole.
“But there’s a hole.”
I smiled.
“That’s extra ventilation, sweetheart.”
He laughed.
But I could tell he wasn’t convinced.
The hardest part wasn’t the money.
It was watching Joel slowly realize that his father wasn’t coming back.
At first, he asked about Nathan constantly.
“Do you think Dad remembers my birthday?”
“Of course he does.”
“Then why didn’t he call?”
I forced myself to smile.
“Maybe something important came up.”
Each time I made an excuse, a little part of me felt worse.
I knew Nathan had our phone number.
He knew where we lived.
He knew when Joel’s birthday was.
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell my little boy that his father simply wasn’t making the effort.
I thought protecting him from that truth was an act of kindness.
Eventually, Joel stopped asking.
I told myself that meant he was healing.