The sad reality is that the dream of becoming parents doesn’t happen for everyone. Sometimes people struggle simply because they haven’t found the right partner to start a family with. Other times, despite their best efforts, couples face heartbreaking fertility struggles that keep pregnancy out of reach.
My brother Ryan and his wife Melissa experienced the latter.
While I had been lucky enough to be a mother myself, watching my twin brother and his wife struggle to conceive had been like watching two people slowly suffocate. They went through multiple failed IVF treatments and Melissa losing a child at eleven weeks pregnant and that nearly pushed them over the edge. By that point, they were exhausted and trying to hold on to what was left.
And then came the question. It wasn’t out of the blue, because I could feel like they were considering that an option. They wanted me to be their surrogate, and I didn’t hesitate a second before I agreed to carry their child. Was there a greater joy of being part of that journey of making them parents? And I? I was going to be an aunt.
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We went through all the usual routines together. Melissa came to each doctor’s appointment armed with a large notebook, writing down every single detail. Ryan squeezed my hand during blood draws, because I’ve been terrified of needles since childhood. We put up that green nursery with the white crib and a little mobile with felt stars, and it felt like everything was finally falling into place.
And then it was time to deliver, and suddenly the floor fell right out from under us.
And there I was, lying on the delivery table, utterly exhausted after delivering our child when the nurse placed this wrinkled baby girl right on my chest. I was crying and laughing at the same time while Melissa was crying with happiness at the foot of the bed, saying that our baby was finally here. Ryan stepped up to see her for the first time. I expected him to cry or at least smile, but his expression changed the exact second he got a good look at his daughter.
